Last night I did another open mike session at Kirbys. This
time I read my poem and used cheap puppets to make it more of a performance art
event. I even had some background music. To get the full effects while reading
this poem, cut out the pictures and tape them to soda straws. Also put on some background jazz that sounds like spy music. -Otto
Stretch Muligan CIA
-Otto
Stretch Muligan is a Fess Parkeresque dude
He’s an undercover agent for the CIA
He hunts bad guys and keeps us safe
Because freedom isn’t free
And we know what it means to serve
We’ve been insuring men and women in the service
Since the first marine landed in Nicaragua
Stretch grew up in a small town
Three blocks away from a Dillons
Where no prices are lower prices than Dillons
Were you can donate 3% of your loot
To the wounded warrior gig
And help out our wounded heroes
Because freedom isn’t free
And we know what it means to serve
Ted “Nasty” Davinci is a double agent for al Qaeda
He has a secret plot to insure car bombers
But first he must steal the secret CIA files
That will let him know who the bombers are
He sells American Family Insurance
Because freedom isn’t free
And he knows what it means to serve
He also sells Ford Escapes
Because bombs go better with Ford
More leg room
Extra trunk space
And now time for a jingle
Your favorite top 10 tune
In a sedan
Stretch goes to his favorite Casino
Ted goes to the Watergate Hotel
Stretch puffs on a Salem Cigarette
Ted just guzzled a Bacardi pint
The taste you never get tired of
Stretch went out to take a break
Ted runs down the street with the secret file
Stretch caught ted
Now he is in a hood
Wrapped in wires
From Ace the helpful hardware place
And stuck to batteries from sears
Stretch releases the hellish current
Because freedom isn’t free
And we know what it means to serve
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