For my birthday-- A new calendar

I’ve invented a new calendar. It is really just the same calendar we all use today except I use the year Great Leader or GL 56. That’s because my birthday is this weekend, so to sell-a-brate I’m selling a new calendar. I got the idea from Democratic People’s Republic of (North) Korea. They have their own calendar based on the life of Kim Il Sung. The year there is January 11. 2011 Juche 100. So in my calendar the year would be Jan. 11, 2011 GL 56. Each page will have my great accomplishments, such as the time I single-handedly lead a group of students to take over WSU to protest the Vietnam War when I was only 13. Yes I’ve re-written history a little to improve my historical role as a great person. Order now, only $15. It’s $1,000 if you can afford more and 2 ¢ if you’re broke. Order today.

Here I am explaining evolution of conservative people to my little brother when I was just a kid.

 People all over the world will sell-abrate my birthday.