Stupid Kansas Rednecks

Three more payments and we're the proud owners of a house in one of the most brain desolate state in the United $nakes. Yes I'm stuck in Kansas for a while. A state that does everything backwards.

"But they're desperately looking for teachers I've heard?"

Yes they are – for the basics -- reading, math and science. Not much use for government or social studies teachers. That category is way down there. What Kansas really needs are savvy tech-nerds and autonomatrons. Government: why let the kids of Kansas know that they have any rights, especially when a cop pulls them over. Let them serve lengthy prison terms because they don't realize they have rights and the cops can lie to them and get away with it. We have lots of people in prison that wouldn't be there if they paid attention to their rights as a citizen during government class.

History, not important at all, especially given that Kansas wasn't always a conservative red-neck Republican state. Yes, we've had socialists, communists and the Populist movement here in Kansas history. But why clutter the head of an autonomatron with such useless information. All the need is to be functional at the job, buy a lot of useless crap, such as oversized pickups they won't need and vote for Republicans who use their office strictly to get rich at the taxpayer expense, such as our own Todd Tiahrt.

Tiahrt has mastered the art of legal bribery (campaign contributions) and has learned to take advantage of every perk he can get his hands one to feather his own nest. And he talks the language of the religious fundamentalists so those mind-numbed idiots have voted him back into office for the last 10 years.

They have strict guidelines on being a teacher here in Kansas, some of the toughest in the country, so that we can teach kids that don't want to learn anything, can't possibly learn all the stuff they expect us to know and then they act like we're the idiots. Most the people who complain about teachers couldn't even handle the class work we take and would crumble like dust if they ever had to try to do our job. But those are the kind if idiots who run our education system.

I live just outside of Wichita. It is a fact that several polls taken have rated Wichita close to last as a good place for single to meet up. I hear people say "but you have some real hot looking women here?" Hot looking yes – Some one you can meet and go out with –NO! If anyone asks me where is a good place to pick up women in Wichita I tell them to get in their car and go West, South or East. Lawrence is a good town, Oklahoma City has promise, even Ponca City, Oklahoma or Hutchinson, Kansas. But forget meeting women in a Wichita bar. Most men just don't. There is one exception, the crack whores. Then you need $20 and be prepared for a quicky because those women don't wait around for romance. Once the deals done their off to get a rock.



AHH Kansas! Land of the dumb, stupid, fucked-up-in-the-head red-necks.


This song reminds me of Kansas rednecks




From Frank Zappa

Lonesome Cowboy Bert:


Jimmy Carl Black:
My name is Burtram, I am a redneck.
All my friends, they call me Burt.

Mark Volman & Howard Kaylan:
Hi, Burt!

Jimmy Carl Black:
All my family from down in Texas
make their livin' diggin' dirt.

Come out here to Californy
just to find me some pretty girls.
Ones I seen gets me so horny
ruby lips,
n'teeth like pearls.

Wanna love 'em all.
Wanna love 'em dearly.
Wann pretty girl,
I'll even pay ...

I'll buy 'em furs. I'll buy 'em jewelry ...
I know they like me. Here's what I'll say.

I'm lonesome cowboy Burt.
( Speakin' atcha!)
Come smell my fringe-y shirt.
( Reekin' atcha!)
My cowboy pants,
my cowboy dance,
my bold advance.
On this here waitress ...


Mark Volman & Howard Kaylan:
He's lonesome cowboy Burt.
Don'tcha get his feelings hurt.

Jimmy Carl Black:
Come on in this place
an' I'll buy you a taste.
You can sit on my face.
Where's my waitress?

Mark Volman & Howard Kaylan:
Burtram, Burtram redneck.
Burtram, Burtram redneck.

Jimmy Carl Black:
I'm an awful nice guy.
Sweat all day in the sun.
I'm a roofer by trade,
quite a bundle I've made
I'm unionized roofin' old
Son-of-a-gun.

Mark Volman & Howard Kaylan:
He's a unionized roofin' old
son-of-a-gun.

Jimmy Carl Black:
When I get off, I get plastered.
I drink till I fall on the floor.
Find me some Communist bastard
n' stomp on his face till he don't
move no more.

Mark Volman & Howard Kaylan:
He stomps on his face till he don't
move no more.

Jimmy Carl Black:
I fuss an' I cuss and I keep on drinkin'
till my eyes puff up an' turn red.
I drool on m'shirt.
I see if he's hurt.
Then I kick him again in the head, let's

Everybody:
Kick him again in the head! Boys!
Kick him again in the head! Now!
Kick him again in the head!

Jimmy Carl Black:
I'm lonesome cowboy Burt.
( Speakin' atcha!)
Come smell my fringe-y shirt.
( Reekin' atcha!)
My cowboy pants,
my cowboy dance,
my bold advance.
On this here waitress ...

Mark Volman & Howard Kaylan:
He's lonesome cowboy Burt.
Don'tcha get his feelings hurt.

Jimmy Carl Black:
Come on in this place
an' I'll buy you a taste.
You can sit on my face.
Where's my waitress?
Opal, you hot little bitch!