Counter-culture Journals (文革)

Counter-culture Journals (文革)

Friday, February 05, 2016

What will happen at the time of death?

I am a 26 year old male from Tamil Nadu, India. 

Till now, I've been to other side of life 2 times. Once during my age of 18, I fell from a bus. Then, while I was 25, yes, this year, 2015, for 2 months I was in ICU, ventilation support was given to support my life for a week. 

Both the time, I had bizarre thoughts in my mind, and a streak of complete darkness, just like black hole. No light at all. It was fully DARK. During my first accident, I lost my consciousness, It was like literally there were no days in my calendar during the time I was in ICU. I didn't know where I was and like all movies once I regained consciousness I asked "Mein Kahaan hoon? or Naan Enga Iruken? (Where I am? lol ;)))  ", . It was blank and now it was like few pages of my life has been torn off.

During the recent one, I had bizarre thoughts while doctors said I had only 1% chance, I still remember the times before I was put into Ventilator to support my breathing. My body took out all the things inside me, I puked and same time excreted both the stools and urine. Then again, I went into darkness and my mind played some trick drama, like I was literally seeing all the things happened in my life as a black and white bioscope, but I felt no pain at all. Then went into pure darkness again. 

For a week I was given ventilator support, and that week was again like few pages missed from my life. NOTHING. I guess the other side of the life is nothing and just vast empty dark space.

These 2 events helped me learn many things about life. Now I am 26, I learnt to accept death and now I am not afraid of it, I welcome it when it comes. No expectations, I now never keep expectations but love every living things. I live according to my conscience. I live my life happily like a half sage. 

I thank the OP who posted this question, It made be nostalgic about those days. I never can forget those days. It helped me to get a perspective on this life in Earth.



I put this part to clear some air here about some confusions.

Here some of the users who are Doctors commented here about my hallucinations which I had due to drugs I was given. Yes, I was given opioids to reduce my pain. I didn't wanna add all the things happened because of those drugs. If I start to write all of my hallucinated dreams that time, I will end up writing a novel, like Once, I was dreaming as I was sent into space, because I am being a greatest threat to mankind and ordered to shoot in my head as per the special execution orders, lol, The dream was so much realistic.

 I clearly understood which was drug driven hallucinations and which were my own experiences from the sufferings. Even though I had many hallucinations, There was a scenario of me going into cardiac arrest, that is, there was few minutes of flat-line, which is known as clinical death and not the real death(Brain Death). Before that incident, The thing I mentioned about life things flashing in front of me, time slowing down and going into darkness, those all happened. After I was revived by giving some epinephrine shots, I was given ventilator support again, those times were kind of not recorded in my brain, it was all blank and pitch black darkness. 

I have sealed all my feelings from not sharing it to anybody, that lead to a depression, I don't have anybody close to share these things, My answer here has helped me a lot to let it out some of my feelings. I thank each and every persons who commented here and all others who viewed this, I felt good after very long time. Quora is a great platform for me to concentrate on life and my favorite time pass, learning. And Quora now helped me to feel better too.

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